One of the most difficult mitzvahs in synagogue life may be the mitzvah of keeping quiet when someone else makes a mistake.
When Elazar Had to Step In
Countless debates take place in Congress over all kinds of issues. But one thing that always catches my attention is how much politicians seem to enjoy hearing themselves speak.
Each member gets a set amount of time to make their point. It is rare — if it ever happens — that someone finishes early and says, “I’m good, I don’t need the rest of my time.” Usually, they use every last second, until someone has to cut them off and move things along.
And of course, this is not only true of politicians. Rabbis can also enjoy speaking a little too much. They too are not always eager to give up “their time” for something else. You certainly do not often find a rabbi giving up his speech so that another rabbi can speak instead.
But this week’s Torah portion gives us a very unusual scene.
In Parshat Matot, the Torah teaches the laws of immersing utensils. The basic halachah is that when a Jewish person acquires certain kinds of utensils that previously belonged to a non-Jew, those utensils need to be immersed in a mikvah before use. Today, many communities have a special “keilim mikvah” built specifically for immersing dishes, pots, pans, and other utensils.
The Torah introduces these laws in an interesting way. It says, “Elazar the priest said to the soldiers: This is the statute of the Torah that G-d commanded Moses…” He then goes on to teach them the laws about purifying the utensils taken from Midian. The Torah says that the utensils must be purified “in the waters of niddah,” which Rashi explains means water fit for immersion — a mikvah containing forty se’ah of water. (Numbers 31:21–23; Rashi ad loc.)
But this raises a major question.
This episode takes place at the end of the forty years in the desert. Aaron had already passed away, and his son Elazar had taken his place as High Priest. But Moses was still there. And yet, standing in front of Moses, his nephew Elazar is the one teaching Torah law to the Jewish people.
That is not what we are used to seeing. Usually, it is Moses who teaches the commandments. The Torah constantly says, “Moses spoke,” “Moses said,” “Moses commanded.” Suddenly, Elazar becomes the teacher?
And it is even stranger because Elazar himself says, “This is the law that G-d commanded Moses.” So if G-d commanded it to Moses, why did Moses not say it himself? (See Sichos Kodesh 5729, p. 69.)
Rashi gives a striking answer: “Because Moses became angry, he came to make a mistake.”
A few verses earlier, the Torah describes the war against Midian. The Jewish people had gone to battle, and when they returned, they brought back a large amount of spoils. Among them were the women of Midian. When Moses saw this, he became very upset. He said, in effect: These are the very women who led the Jewish people into sin at Baal Peor, causing a devastating plague among the people — and now you are bringing them back? (Numbers 31:9–16.)
Moses’ anger was understandable. But Rashi says that because of that anger, Moses forgot the laws of immersing utensils — laws he had already received from G-d and taught to Elazar. As a result, Elazar had to step in and teach those laws to the people.
Rashi continues and points out that this was not the first time something like this happened.
Everyone knows the story of the waters of Merivah. The Jewish people needed water, and G-d told Moses to speak to the rock so it would give water. Instead, Moses struck the rock. Rashi explains that there too, Moses first became angry and said, “Listen now, you rebels,” and because of that anger, he made a mistake and struck the rock. (Numbers 20:10–11; Rashi to Numbers 31:21.)
(Rashi also brings another example from forty years earlier, during the dedication of the Mishkan, the Tabernacle. Again, the same pattern appears: anger leads to confusion, and confusion leads to error.)
Help Instead of Correcting
For some reason, Jews have a great love for correcting each other. There are many people who seem to wait for the chance to catch someone making a mistake, just so they can correct them.
Every synagogue has people who enjoy correcting the cantor or the Torah reader. It makes no difference how much the corrector actually knows. Everyone loves to correct someone else and prove that they know better. This behavior can be found among young and old alike. It is a contagious disease.
Very often, a person walks into a synagogue for the first time in his life, and his first experience is that someone comes over and points out that he has done something completely wrong. The new visitor turns red with embarrassment, and it makes him think twice before coming back to synagogue again. After all, no one wants to be put in a position where he feels exposed for not knowing basic things about Judaism.
If you want to correct someone, wait until after services. Invite him to your home for a Shabbat meal. When he sees that you genuinely care about him physically and personally, then you can also care about him spiritually and gently point out something that may have been done incorrectly or imprecisely.
But to jump on someone in synagogue and correct him in front of everyone is a guaranteed recipe for pushing him away from Judaism.
When a Jew walks into synagogue, give him a warm “Shalom Aleichem.” Seat him next to you. Ask how he is doing. Offer him a siddur. Help him gently with putting on a tallit. Make him feel that he is your personal guest, that he came to synagogue in your honor. Introduce him to other Jews in the room.
Then there is a good chance he will come back again — and his mitzvahs will be credited to you as well.
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