What if teshuvah isn’t just about looking back with guilt, but also moving forward with joy? A story about Rabbi Reuven Dunin offers a fresh take.

Story about Rabbi Reuven Dunin

Today, I want to share with you a special life story and a deep message that is very relevant right now – during Elul, the month of mercy and forgiveness, a time for reflection and teshuvah.

I am speaking about a dear and inspiring figure in Chabad – Rabbi Reuven Dunin, of blessed memory. His name is known in almost every Chabad home. He was a famous spiritual mentor in Israel, a man of truth, full of warmth and passion, who brought thousands closer to Judaism, to Chassidus, and to the Rebbe.

But his path was not simple. As a child, he grew up in a devout home, a home of Torah. Yet as a teenager, he left that path, distancing himself from Torah and mitzvot. He joined a kibbutz, became part of the pioneering movement in Israel, worked as a tractor driver, and was very successful. Outwardly, he had everything – money, work, success – but inside, he felt something was missing. All of it did not fill his soul.

At that time, his brother Avraham, who was already studying in the Chabad yeshiva, invited him to visit Kfar Chabad. Rabbi Reuven went, and on that visit, his soul connected with Chassidus. He felt he had found a true home. He began learning in the yeshiva, drew closer, and after a while felt he needed to travel to the Rebbe in New York.

When he arrived and entered his first private audience with the Rebbe, he cried as he told his life story and asked how to do teshuvah. He wanted to repair what he had done in the past. The Rebbe answered with a short but revolutionary response:
“Serve G-d with joy and a good heart, and when the time comes – we will talk about teshuvah.”

This sentence contains a tremendous lesson.

Looking forward

We are now in the month of Elul – everyone talks about teshuvah. But what do people usually mean by “teshuvah”? Looking backward. Thinking: What did I do last year? Where did I fail? What should I regret? How can I fix it? And usually, what comes from this? Much pain, sadness, and guilt. A person can fall into depression.

But Chassidus says: No! The main point of teshuvah is not digging into the past. The essence of teshuvah is looking forward. Not to dwell on what has passed, but to move ahead. Not to sink into despair, but to start a new page.

When someone keeps digging into the past, they fill themselves with anger, disappointment, and shame. Nothing good comes of it. But when a person says: “What’s done is done. From now on, I start a new page!” – that brings life, joy, and real change.

There are wonderful stories in Chassidic lore that illustrate this.

A L’chaim with G-d

It is told of a certain Chassidic Rebbe, who on the eve of Yom Kippur walked through a small town, wanting to see how the Jews were preparing for the holy day. There were houses with one floor, and he was able to peek into the homes.   Through the window of one house, he saw a strange sight: a man sitting in front of a bottle of alcohol with two glasses. He poured both glasses, drank one, then the other. Again he poured and drank, again and again, until the entire bottle was finished. Then he got up and began to dance around the table.

On Yom Kippur night, in the synagogue, everyone made room for the Rebbe on the eastern side, as was customary, but he went toward the western side, searching for that same man. He approached him, took him by the hand, and said, “Come with me.” Then he sat down with him and asked, “I looked into your house at noon, and I saw you sitting with a bottle, drinking one glass after another until the whole bottle was finished. What is the meaning of this?”

The man told a moving story: At the beginning of the year, he had a cow that gave him milk – not only for his family, but also as my source of livelihood. The cow fell ill and died. He was angry with the Holy One, Blessed Be He. Then his wife became ill. He prayed, saying: “Master of the Universe please save my wife because if my wife dies – I’m done with You”. And indeed, his wife passed away. Since then, he stopped putting on tefillin, stopped going to the synagogue. He said: “I have no connection with G-d.”

“But now” he continued the story. “It is Yom Kippur eve. What should I do? All my life, I went to the synagogue on this day. Yet, I swore I had no connection with G-d. Then I remembered a story with my neighbor. We had quarreled and did not speak for several months. One day, he came into my house, placed a bottle of Vodka on the table, poured two glasses, and said: ‘Enough fighting. Let’s drink “L’Chaim” and make peace.’ We drank, danced, and became friends again.

“So I thought to myself: I also quarrelled with the Holy One, Blessed Be He. I will do the same. I put a bottle on the table, poured two glasses, and said ‘L’Chaim’ for Him and for me. If He did not drink, I drank in His place. And I continued this until I finished the entire bottle. Then I got up and danced around the table. I made peace with the Holy One, Blessed Be He.”

What a wonderful story! What depth! This is exactly the meaning of teshuvah: not dwelling on the past, not sinking into despair, but reconciling with G-d and starting anew.

A similar story is told about a Chassid of Rabbi Melich of Lezhinsk. The Chassid wanted to understand what teshuvah truly means. The Rebbe sent him to another town, to a tavern. On Erev Yom Kippur, he entered and saw people drinking, getting drunk, and chaos everywhere. He thought to himself: What does this have to do with teshuvah?

In the middle of the night, the tavern owner closed the place, cleared everyone out, cleaned it, and then opened two notebooks. In the first, he had written what he owed to the Holy One, Blessed Be He: he missed some prayers, he forgot to give change to some customers, he gossiped and wronged others. In the second, he had written what the Holy One owed him: times he was beaten up because he was a Jew, hardships he had endured, thefts, losses. At the end, he held both notebooks in his hands and said: “I forgive you, and you forgive me. I don’t owe you, and you don’t owe me. Let’s start a new page.” He spun the notebooks on his head like a symbolic act of kapparah and threw them into the fire.

The Chassid who watched understood: this is the true meaning of teshuvah – to start a new page.

This message applies not only to our relationship with G-d, but also with our fellow human beings. Many people carry old anger and grudges for decades. If you want to truly make peace, do not rehash everything that happened. That only leads to more conflict. The correct path is simple: “Let’s start over.”

And this is what G-d wants from us in Elul. If we want Him to open a new page with us, we must open a new page with another Jew. 

No Grudges

I want to end with a personal story. About 12–13 years ago, after my father, Rabbi Moshe Greenberg, of blessed memory, passed away, I was in New York. I was at the Rebbe’s Ohel, and then I traveled to Crown Heights.  A Yeshiva student joined me on the trip, and along the way, he shared something interesting: he had been staying at the famous Rabbi Yoel Kahn’s home, the Rebbe’s chossid. At the Friday night dinner, Rabbi Kahn suddenly started to speak about my father. I was very surprised to hear this.

He said: Most of the Jews who came from Russia carried anger. The Communist regime was terrible. They turned everyone into informers. Everyone suspected one another. If someone held a moral position, it could ruin them. These Jews could not free themselves from suspicion and resentment even when they left USSR.

But Rabbi Moshe Greenberg was different. He carried no grudges, no accounts, no anger. Always joyful, always moving forward, never looking back. This is something very special.

There is even a Yiddish song that sums it all up: “Lo mir zikh iber betn” – Our Father in Heaven, let us reconcile. Perhaps we are upset with You, perhaps You are upset with us – but enough. Let us make peace, start a new page.