We teach our children to become independent, succeed on their own, and never depend on anyone else. But the Torah begins with a surprising message: even in a perfect world, G-d declared that it was not good for a human being to be alone.
We hear again and again about acts of terrorism and people who one day decide to attack innocent people. We try to understand what is going on in their minds. How does a person reach a point where he is capable of killing others?
There is no single answer that explains every case. But when we examine the stories of some attackers, we often discover people who were deeply lonely and lived with intense feelings of frustration, rejection, anger, or disconnection from society.
In 2023, the United States Surgeon General issued an extraordinary warning. He declared that loneliness and social isolation had become a serious public health problem. We are accustomed to thinking of loneliness as a personal feeling, but this report presents it as a problem that affects the health of society as a whole.
The report was titled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. It explains that our connections with family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors are not simply a nice addition to life. They are a significant factor affecting our health, our personal resilience, and the security of our entire community.
We invest enormous effort in raising children who know how to succeed in life, earn a living, become independent, and avoid depending on others. But perhaps we have forgotten to teach them something no less important: how to be connected to other people.
A person needs not only a place to live, but also a place where he feels that he belongs. He needs not only people who know his name, but people who care about him. And perhaps this is one of the tragedies of the modern world: a person can have 3,000 friends on Facebook and still feel that he has nobody with whom he can share something personal.
According to figures from the United States Census Bureau for 2024, approximately 146 million Americans aged fifteen and older are not currently married, including people who are divorced, widowed, or separated. Among those aged twenty five and older, the estimate is approximately 110 to 120 million people who are not married.
This week, we begin the Book of Genesis and return to the story of Creation and the creation of the first human being. Immediately after creating Adam, even before the sin of the Tree of Knowledge, G-d makes a surprising statement: “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper corresponding to him.”
G-d created a human being, gave him intelligence, understanding, and abilities, and placed him in the Garden of Eden, a perfect place. Nevertheless, G-d declared that it was not good for man to be alone.
But this raises a question: Why?
Why did G-d create human beings in such a way that they need another person? Why did He not create us completely independent, capable of providing for all our needs by ourselves? If we have intelligence, abilities, and talents, why do we need society, friendship, and a life partner so much?
This question becomes even more significant in our world, where we take such pride in our independence. We teach our children to succeed on their own, stand on their own two feet, and avoid depending on others. But perhaps this is not the right approach.
Earlier in the parsha, the Torah describes Creation as “good.” The first time the expression “not good” appears is in this verse: “It is not good for man to be alone.” Why?
Perhaps it is because the human being was created in the image of G-d. Just as G-d bestows goodness upon others, the human being was not created merely to receive, but also to give. To fulfill this potential, he needs another person. G-d created human beings in such a way that some of the goodness we can receive depends on others, and some of the goodness we can bring into the world depends on having other people in our lives.
Why G-d Created Us to Need Others
We find an answer in Rashi’s commentary on this very verse: “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper corresponding to him” (Genesis 2:18).
Rashi explains:
“Not good for man to be alone, lest people should say there are two authorities: G-d is alone in the upper worlds, with no partner, and this one is alone in the lower worlds, with no partner.”
At first glance, this is difficult to understand. Why does Rashi bring this interpretation? Why does he not simply explain that it is not good for a man to be alone because he needs the help of a woman, as the continuation of the verse itself seems to indicate: “I will make him a helper corresponding to him”? In other words, the human being needs assistance.
The Rebbe explains:
“In truth, there is no real reason why a human being should need assistance. This is all the more so when compared with animals: if animals can survive on their own, then surely a human being, who possesses the additional qualities of intelligence and understanding, should be able to provide for all his needs independently.
However, because G-d wanted to completely eliminate the mistaken notion that ‘there are two authorities,’ He did not consider it sufficient simply to create a woman as a partner for the man. In that case, one could still argue that the man was originally created alone and the woman was added only afterward. Instead, G-d created the woman in such a way that the man would genuinely need her assistance, thereby making it clear that he had been created with limitations.” (Likkutei Sichot, Vol. 5, p. 20; adapted from the Chumash, p. 56.)
G-d wanted the world to recognize that there is one Creator, unique and alone. If the human being had remained alone, he might have appeared to be a completely independent creature who needed nobody. People could have mistakenly imagined that there were, so to speak, two authorities: G-d, who is alone in the upper worlds, and the human being, who is alone in the lower worlds.
This does not mean that the human being would actually have been a god, G-d forbid. Rather, his existence as a solitary and independent being could have created the false impression of complete independence, as though there were room for two separate authorities.
Therefore, G-d did not consider it sufficient for the human being simply to receive a wife as a partner. He created him in such a way that he would need her help.
A person can be extremely intelligent, talented, and strong. He can achieve extraordinary things. But as long as he believes that he can manage entirely on his own, he may forget the most fundamental fact: he was created, and he is not the source of his own strength.
G-d created the human being in such a way that he needs other people, so that he would recognize that he is not completely independent. This is how G-d chose to create the world. A human being is not meant to be a world unto himself. He is meant to live in connection with others, to receive their help, and to help them in return.
This is also the deeper meaning of the words “a helper corresponding to him.” It does not mean merely someone who stands beside a person and assists him. It describes a relationship through which a person discovers that he cannot achieve his own completeness alone.
And it is precisely through recognizing his limitations and his need for others that a person can always remember that, at every moment, he dependant on G-d for his existence.
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